A portion of this novel is about Jim Williams and the mysterious death of his young friend that looked an awful lot like murder. The legal proceedings following were pretty wild. That’s the story everyone associates with this book.
But a larger portion is about the rest of Savannah that John encountered during his extended stays. Some characters/stories are more wild than Jim Williams. Some much less so. All packaged together, this was one boring AF book.
Rating: 2.0
View Book Details
Author: John Berendt
Format: Audiobook
Length: 15h 11m
Published: 1994
Alternative(s)
Reason: One of the more vibrant characters was the Lady Chablis. I thought she deserved her own book. Well guess what…
High-quality production, whacky reveal at the half-way point, followed by increasingly whackier reveals until we’re finally set free.
Mina is transporting a bird through the woods (don’t ask) when her car breaks down and she finds shelter in a bunker with three strangers. She’s subjected to the nightly ritual of the Watchers who come to observe the quartet until sunup. Then the American girl who works at a tiny pet store in Ireland figures out what’s really happening and tries to help everyone escape.
Rating: 2.0
View Movie Details
Director: Ishana Shyamalan
MPAA: PG-13
Runtime: 1h 42m
Year: 2024
Alternative(s)
Reason: Imagine being on the other side of this scenario, and you’re the one welcoming the newcomer(s).
Suggestion: Don’t worry. Something’s still out there. And It Comes at Night.
Do you find walking through the woods the most terrifying thing ever? Then boy do I have some great news for you!
Peppered in between watching him walk a whole bunch, we watch cursed Johnny seriously destroy some coeds in a… violent nature! [ba-dum-tss] But this needed to be a short film. They blew it with the ending and the run time. Kinda like when Johnny picked up that big rock and [redacted for your well-being].
Rating: 2.0
View Movie Details
Director: Chris Nash
MPAA: Not Rated
Runtime: 1h 34m
Year: 2024
Alternative(s)
Reason: Johnny was clearly inspired by the original slow walker, Michael Myers.
Suggestion: Just watch Halloween instead. Less gore, but better film.
Rule #1 of staying in a house that isn’t yours: If you find a creepy object, especially in a basement or locked cabinet, LEAVE IT ALONE!
A group of dum-dums find a tarot deck and decide it would be super fun to play with it. Then they’re surprised when there are consequences of demonic proportions. But I will concede those demons are scary AF.
Rating: 2.0
View Movie Details
Director: Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg
MPAA: PG-13
Runtime: 1h 32m
Year: 2024
Alternative(s)
Reason: Horror kids will never disappoint with being reckless with strange artifacts they find.
Suggestion: Talk to Me is a far superior film to Tarot.
DISCLAIMER: I hate A24 movies… and didn’t realize this was A24 until the opening credits. I came for Kristen, stuck around for the confusion.
Lou & Jackie start a whirlwind romance when Jackie rolls through town on her way to a bodybuilding competition. Neither woman is who they seem on the surface and their relationship turns bonkers real quick. And it will end in a… big… way. For some reason.
Rating: 2.0
View Movie Details
Director: Rose Glass
MPAA: R
Runtime: 1h 44m
Year: 2024
Alternative(s)
Reason: Honestly? I got nothin’.
Suggestion: Either watch Love Lies Bleeding or take a nap. Those are your options.
“He’s got amnesia” was a silly line that made sense in the context of While You Were Sleeping. But in a mystery novel by one of the allegedly greatest mystery writers of all time, it felt lazy. Sprinkle in some weird takes on adoption, and you’ve got yourself a mystery. No, not a murder mystery. The mystery of why anyone could have been blown away by whatever is happening here.
Honestly, I finished this a month ago and I couldn’t even tell you who the killer ended up being. I must have amnesia.
Rating: 2.0
View Book Details
Author: Agatha Christie
Format: Audiobook
Length: 7h 5m
Published: 1958
Alternative(s)
Reason: Apparently I’m not a Christie fan. So allow me to present the only Christie story I actually enjoyed.
Suggestion: And Then There Were None. We just won’t talk about it’s original title because there’s no excuse for that.
The post-Caesar era is boring AF when the heir to an eagle farm tries to fight against an evil overlord with nothing but his audacity, an orangutang, and a human.
Seriously, this could’ve been 45 minutes shorter. Mind-blowing effects, though.
Rating: 2.0
View Movie Details
Director: Wes Ball
MPAA: PG-13
Runtime: 2h 25m
Year: 2024
Alternative(s)
Reason: Wes Ball claimed this was Apocalyptowith apes. Sure.
Suggestion: But this felt way more like Waterworld. And that’s not a compliment.
This is not a comedy. Repeat: this is NOT a comedy.
Robin Williams give one hell of a performance as a Russian musician who defects to America, in which he learned Russian and the saxophone for the role. But he was so perfect that everything around him paled in comparison. To the point where it’s all you could see: the disparage between Williams and this story.
Rating: 2.5
View Movie Details
Director: Paul Mazursky
MPAA: R
Runtime: 1h 55m
Year: 1984
Alternative(s)
Reason: Robin Williams was one of two actors who raised me. The other?
Suggestion: Tom Hanks… who was stuck in The Terminal while his country figured some shit out.
Half of this is about Sophie, a French woman waiting for her husband to return home during WW1. What she endures is gut-wrenching. The other half is about Liv, a real prick of a woman who I hate with every fiber of my being who doesn’t want to give up a painting that doesn’t belong to her.
My recommendation: 2 stars for Sophie, behavioral therapy for Liv.
Rating: 2.0
View Book Details
Author: Jojo Moyes
Format: Audiobook
Length: 13h 29m
Published: 2012
Alternative(s)
Reason: Don’t know if I’ll do this often, but I need to cross medias to point out a parallel for this one.
Suggestion: Woman in Goldwas a similar story with a better plot.
StoryJenna 