Persuasion

I cannot be persuaded that this is a timeless classic. Nor will I accept that this is a superior Austen novel than that of Pride and Prejudice.

Persuasion feels like you got stuck in a corner with Chatty Kathy who innocently asked “Did you hear about Anne and Fred?!” And trying to be polite, you engage. Then she spends the next several hours talking nonstop about conversations she overheard from people you don’t know. By the end you’ll both have forgotten the original question and if there was any point to the ‘conversation’ and to top it all off… you desperately have to pee.

Rating: 1.0

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• Author: Jane Austen
• Format: Audiobook
• Length: 8h 13m
• Published: 1817

The Count of Monte Cristo

Apparently I’m a big fat liar. And I’m devastated.

The greatest revenge story ever told. Edmond Dantès lost all of his good luck in a single day. For years, he plotted his ultimate justice and stopped at nothing to gain fame and fortune in order to tear down each person responsible for his misery.

That’s the novel I read in high school and fell in love with. The [gasp] abridged version. The unabridged version is buried under a thick blanket of descriptions and is a completely different experience. One I found to be, personally, exhausting. I’m so sorry.

Rating: 3.0

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• Author: Alexandre Dumas
• Format: Physical
• Length: 1065 pages
• Published: 1844