Dumb Money

Watching Dumb Money is probably a lot like participating the real GameStop stock buying revolution: I’m not 100% sure what’s going on, but I’m having a great time.

If you somehow missed it, this dude on Reddit started talking about GameStop stock and a bunch of people joined in and easily topped the very fragile system that the billionaires get rich off of. The memes were top-notch, as were the returns.

Rating: 3.5

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• Director: Craig Gillespie
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 45m
• Year: 2023

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Billionaires don’t reserve their hatred and vengeance for ‘nobodies’ who exploit their loopholes. They did it to themselves a time or two.
• Suggestion: School yourself on the happenings of The Big Short if you also somehow missed that little blip in the economy.

The Paris Orphan

Supermodel Jess randomly decides to become a war correspondent during WW2. There she meets Captain Dan and his ward Victorine. As if war isn’t brutal enough, let’s add a bit of drama, shall we?

Fast-forward six decades and art curator Darcy arrives in Paris to pack up some famous photos. What she doesn’t realize is they hold answers to questions none of us knew we should ask regarding Jess, Victorine, and Dan. Which can all be summed up as: too much.

Rating: 3.0

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• Author: Natasha Lester
• Format: Audiobook
• Length: 13h 51m
• Published: 2019

Alternative(s)

• Reason: I seem to struggle with dual timelines, always preferring the ‘before’ to the ‘after’.
• Suggestion: The same was said about Sarah’s Key. Still about WW2 with dual time lines, but about Paris children instead of women.

The Color Purple (2023)

Not sure how you take an incredibly powerful story, a dream roster of a cast, and proceed to make the most underwhelming musical to have ever musical’d. Audiences will be bored out of their minds as they hear the most beautiful renditions of storyless songs. Which, again, is mind-blowing considering the people signing them.

Rating: 3.0

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• Director: Blitz Bazawule
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 2h 21m
• Year: 2023

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Thanks for the Whoopie cameo, Blitz, but I’d rather watch her Oscar-snubbed performance.
• Suggestion: The 1985 The Color Purple was superior in every way.

[Rewatch]: Serendipity

I truly forgot how infuriating this movie is. Our two love birds are closer to one flew over the cuckoo’s nest than truly twitterpated. A meet cute in a Bloomingdale’s takes them all over the place, physically and emotionally, while the cosmos can’t seem to decide on if these two deserve each other or not. I should make a mental note to not watch this on purpose again because it didn’t age well for me.

Rating: 3.0

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• Director: Peter Chelsom
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 1h 30m
• Year: 2001

Daisy Darker

Daisy Darker and her family are convening for Nana’s 80th birthday party on Halloween. As guests start dying, and family keeps lying, there’s a chance none of the Darker’s will make it to next Halloween.

Alice Feeney is a great writer. I’ve read three other books and while I always figure out ‘the twist’ early on… Alice doubles-down and makes me realize I only knew the half of it. Except with Daisy. The thing I realized was the only thing. And I was crushed. So proceed with low expectations.

Rating: 3.0

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• Author: Alice Feeney
• Format: Audiobook
• Length: 10h 54m
• Published: 2022

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Alice had another story of people trapped in a house where bad stuff starts happening that I thought was much better.
• Suggestion: Anyone up for a game of Rock Paper Scissors?

Hit Man

Nice guy Gary is promoted at his side gig when he has to become a fake hit man for the New Orleans police dept. He’s eerily good at it. Until he meets a potential ‘client’ that changes everything.

And just like that, I will now see every Glenn Powell movie that has ever and will ever exist. Period.

Rating: 3.5

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• Director: Richard Linklater
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 55m
• Year: 2024

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Personally I didn’t care for this next film, but lots of people like it. So if you were secretly hoping Gary was a real hit man…
• Suggestion: … give Mr. Right a try.

Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Buddy cops become the fugitives trying to clear the sullied name of their deceased captain. There’s some laughs, some crazy action sequences, and a couple gators.

Honestly, what pisses me off the most is this is the 4th movie in the franchise but they used the more appropriate title for the 3rd movie: Bad Boys For Life. Like… Bad Boys 4 Life was right there!! Did Fast & Furious teach us nothing??

Rating: 3.0

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• Director: Adil El Arbi, Bilall Fallah
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 55m
• Year: 2024

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Speaking of Fast & Furious, remember when they had their own stint on the ‘wrong side’ of the law? No, but like that one time where it was extra bad.
• Suggestion: I’m talking about Fast Five.

[Rewatch]: Bicentennial Man

Chris Columbus has a knack for making any situation relatable and human. Even if that story is an adaptation of a story about a self-aware robot who wishes he could become human. And of course Robin Williams can breath life into any character, as he does with Andrew.

Rating: 3.5

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• Director: Chris Columbus
• MPAA: PG
• Runtime: 2h 12m
• Year: 1999

[Rewatch]: Pretty Woman

Before The Princess Diaries, Garry gave us The Prostitute Diaries. Because hear me out: A young lady starts out as a nobody with a snarky BFF, then a rich person comes along and offers her a completely different life so she gets a makeover and is protected by Hector Elizondo before rejecting her future but then ultimately agrees to it?? Come on.

Rating: 3.5

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• Director: Garry Marshall
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 59m
• Year: 1990

[Rewatch]: World War Z

First we got Contagion. Then we got World War Z. Then we got Covid. Basically, people will spread a massively deadly virus if given the opportunity. But only one of them gave us fast zombies.

There’s plenty that’s silly about this film. But it tells the story in a much more exciting manner than the book.

Rating: 3.5

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• Director: Marc Forster
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 1h 56m
• Year: 2013