Sneakers

Redford, Akroyd, Poitier, Phoenix, & Strathairn sneak into an office building…

This merry band typically gets paid to test a company’s hackability. But they’ve just accepted a job that has much higher stakes than any of them realize. What ensues is a surprisingly hilarious, albeit occasionally confusing, display of teamwork to make the dream work.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Phil Alden Robinson
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 2h 6m
• Year: 1992

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Robert Redford participated in some other humorous hijinks with Paul Newman almost 20 years earlier.
• Suggestion: Instead of the sneak, it was The Sting.

The Color Purple

Never having read the source material [thanks, Florida], I discovered Alice Walker’s story through Spielberg this week. To say Celie has a hard existence is an understatement. Teenage pregnancies followed by an arranged marriage to an abusive man and being cut off from her beloved sister, Celie would’ve been well in her rights to be bitter and hateful. Instead we witness Celie continue to show kindness and compassion throughout her tragic life. She meets some wild characters along the way, and perhaps her heart will find true peace by the end.

Rating: 4.5

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• Director: Steven Spielberg
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 2h 34m
• Year: 1985

Alternative(s)

• Reason: I’m just gonna leave this here…
• Suggestion: 12 Years a Slave

The Music Man

A con man arrives in a small Iowa town where he swindles townsfolk into funding a boys’ marching band. His old tricks are working, except when it comes to the beautiful librarian.

No idea how I’ve never seen this show until now. Loved the music and the choreography. The story is very 1960’s but it’s still endearing.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Morton DaCosta
• MPAA: G
• Runtime: 2h 31m
• Year: 1962

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Don’t have a particularly close parallel for this one, but I’ll get you in the same ball park.
• Suggestion: Is Oklahoma! silly? Yes. Yes it is. But oh, what a beautiful day.

[Rewatch]: Gone Baby Gone

Ben Affleck directs his little brother in this faithful adaptation of Dennis Lehane’s novel of the same name (minus the commas, for some reason). The story is still about two PI’s who are trying to help Boston police find a missing four-year-old girl, and all of the unsettling things that happen along the way. As the tagline suggests, “everyone wants the truth… until they find it.”

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Ben Affleck
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 54m
• Year: 2007

Gone, Baby, Gone

Book 4 of the Kenzie & Gennaro series, find the PI-power-duo called in on a missing child case. A girl vanishes one night and one seems to know anything, including the girl’s junkie mother. Everyone and no one is a suspect and the clock is ticking. But just when they think they’re making some progress, they couldn’t be further from the truth.

Rating: 4.0

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• Author: Dennis Lehane
• Format: Physical
• Length: 374 pages
• Published: 1998

Alternative(s)

• Reason: Lehane is my favorite author. Does he write dark and twisted tales? Yes, so please check trigger warnings. But he’s a master story teller so it’s no wonder several of his stories got the Hollywood treatment. But what never made it to screen is the second half of this case.
• Suggestion: If you want to know what happened ‘after’ the events of Gone Baby Gone, jump forward in the series to Book 6: Moonlight Mile.

The Holdovers

A troublesome student, a bitter teacher, and the cafeteria lady are all forced to holdover at boarding school for the Christmas break. The forced proximity forces them all to learn something about each other–and themselves.

Dominic, Paul, & Da’Vine will make you laugh and cry in a beautiful film that looks like it was made in the 1970’s.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Alexander Payne
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 2h 13m
• Year: 2023

Alternative(s)

• Reason: We love a good boarding school story. But The Holdovers felt like a combo of two Robin Williams films with a lot of comedy added in.
• Suggestion: This was Dead Poets Society meets Good Will Hunting. IMO.

[Rewatch]: The Notebook

The chokehold this movie had on me 20 years ago… I will love Noah & Allie’s love for an eternity and you cannot take that away from me.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Nick Cassavetes
• MPAA: PG-13
• Runtime: 2h 3m
• Year: 2004

Abigail

I would’ve rated this movie 5-stars if the poster/trailer/marketing hadn’t spoiled what would’ve been an epic fucking reveal had it happened mid-runtime. But it’s 2024 and we can’t have nice things.

A group of crime-friendly strangers are tasked with kidnapping a girl in exchange for a huge payout. But they end up being locked in a creepy mansion being hunted. And somehow you’ll laugh in between blood splatters the entire time because this flick is hella fun.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett
• MPAA: R
• Runtime: 1h 49m
• Year: 2024

Alternative(s)

• Reason: If you were interested because you knew this was about a vampire, but were surprised with a healthy dose of humor amongst the gore…
• Suggestion: … meet Renfield.

[Rewatch]: The Princess Diaries 1 & 2

Wallflower Mia finds out she’s actually Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia. Then years later, a crazy Genovian law forces her to find a husband ASAP or all her princess lessons will have been for nothing.

These movies are a comfort watch, but must be watched together. No exceptions.

Rating: 4.0

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• Director: Garry Marshall
• MPAA: G
• Runtime: 1h 55m + 1h 53m
• Year: 2001 & 2004

An Offer from a Gentleman

A Bridgerton Cinderella story. Sophie with a secret catches the eye of Benedict Bridgerton, so he saves her over and over again. Will Benedict be able to save her from her past and love her unconditionally so they can live happily ever after?? Bet you’ll never guess how this one ends. [<–sarcasm]

Rating: 4.0

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• Author: Julia Quinn
• Format: Physical
• Length: 480 pages
• Published: 2001

Alternative(s)

• Reason: I literally just said I wouldn’t do this often, but we’re jumping to a movie comparison again.
• Suggestion: EverAfter. Period.